Friendships and relationships seem to be a recurring theme in my life right now. Some of that is intentional, but some of it isn't. The important point is that it has all led me to do some serious reflecting.

I saw The Secret Life of Bees a couple of weeks ago. I'm a sap and it is totally my kind of movie, so it left me all teary-eyed and emotional. I enjoyed the movie, but most of all it left me feeling like their was something lacking in my life. Where is that strong, independent and yet collective female presence in my life? It left me longing to be part of a little community of women that inspire me and challenge me. The kind of people who will tell you when you're wrong, be there when you're on your game and love you through your lows. You know, the kind of friends who know you and love you anyway. Perhaps that's what started this line of inquiry, this train of thought. Regardless, relationships - whether it be building them, finding them, strengthening them or knowing when to let them go - have been on my mind. Interestingly enough, as soon as I started thinking about these things, they started to present themselves to me. It's as though I knew I was ready to deal with these things in my life, and everything started falling into place...

I've had a lot of work to juggle lately. Quite honestly, it will be a feat in itself if I make it through January intact and with all my work done. I'm working full-time, trying to complete my PhD applications, taking a full course load and trying to complete a research paper for a course that is still INC (incomplete). And of course, since it is our last year in New England, there have been PLENTY of distractions. BUT...I've had a very productive week. I'm editing and submitting my research paper tomorrow which has been a major monkey on my back and a roadblock to completing my PhD apps. My two girlfriends, RP and IS, have been incredibly supportive and encouraging. Not only are they great study dates, but they're amazing friends and I'm thankful for them. We've only known each other since I moved to Boston but I'll miss them terribly when I leave here. I know we will remain friends, but distance can be difficult on relationships. I'm enjoying their companionship while I'm here and I'm thankful for all that they bring to my life. I'm blessed and know that these are the kind of friendships that are worth the effort they require when distance becomes a factor.

Another friendship has hit a rough patch. Sure, the lows are never pleasant but sometimes they're necessary and lead to a re-evaluating. I don't know what the outcome will be, but I know whatever happens will be whats best. If we come out of this as friends, then it will be a stronger friendship and we will have a chance to address the difficulties in our relationship. If we don't come out friends, then we'll know that we were investing effort into something that wasn't worthwhile, but we won't be enemies either.

Then of course there's my relationship with MS. It's complicated and although we've always wanted to be closer, there have always been some deep seeded underlying issues that were never really effectively addressed. So, as much as we try, it has always been a bit of a contentious relationship - but not one that was hopeless. Perhaps because we've both changed, "grown-up" a bit and come to a point where we're both happy in our own lives, we've finally learned to talk to each other. After a healthy conversation in which our issues were yanked out from under the rug and finally addresses, I think things might be better. We've been able to talk about things without anger or resentment and without being hurtful. Perhaps we'll finally have that closeness we both say we've always wanted and there won't be this distance between us. Perhaps we'll finally try to talk to and understand one another. I'm hoping and I'm optimistic.

Another friend, one from WAY back (like from when I was 14 years old way back), has made his way back into my life. I've learned to accept the relationship for what it is and what it brings to my life. You can't have the same expectations for everyone. So, we're friends and it works.

I received a very sweet email from a girlfriend of mine that I have not heard from in a while. I moved from L.A. and then she left L.A. as well. So, we don't see each other often, but her email made me smile today and made me feel loved. I miss her. She also made me realize how many people I have in my life that really care and do love me. Life just keeps us busy sometimes and it's difficult to stay in touch constantly with everyone, but her email was a reminder that it doesn't mean they don't care.

So...the point of it all? I'm in a healthy place right now and am happy with the relationships in my life right now. Not only am I blessed, but I am of the right mindset to know what I want out of my relationships with people and what I am able to give. All is well and I am happy.